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Hello the internet

I was able to tour chums around the flat at work with the cam, and the beautiful Mac Mini serving the wireless.

Okay, the recipe from earlier needs a method, so here is the whole thing in full. This easy sauce was created by my girlfriend...

So - Fennel & Chorizo pasta sauce

All ingredients from UK Tesco

300g spanish chorizo
Yes yes, but some devils call their non-Spanish sausage chorizo. Add more if you like it meaty, and try and find the big cylinders rather than the little wieners

1 fennel bulb
The more hairy bits the better

1 med brown onion
Not white, not red, NO!

1 garlic clove, no more than 2
Especially not elephant, or smoked or any gimmiky interfered with garlic. Fresh is best, not pickled, or 'Lazy' you bone idle buggers! Back to the tin opener with you!

1 tblspn paprika
Fresh, not that nasty old bag of rock hard cludge you have in the back of your poor neglected cupboard

Salt and Pepper
Lots of pepper, the chorizo will be plenty salty

Dash of red wine
Only if you have some open. If not, open a bottle anyway, splishy splashy, and don't be a miser, break out the good stuff. None of this Vin de Pizz d'Hoick rubbish

Tomatoes
Get them from a grower\garden centre, and on the vine is good. If you rub the top and it doesn't have that fresh hairy tomato plant smell, then they are not ripe or have been force ripened by the evil conspiracy of supermarkets that are ruining our palletes and making everything taste the same so they can start mincing old people into the food to offset the pension crisis. Tinned is sinned.

Basil
Fresh! I mean it. If you use those tube things, remember, old people! You only know what you are eating if you can see the stuff.

Light olive oil
From Olives, and don't ponce about with your extra virgin first cold press with the feet of virgins crap. Use it to bathe in like normal people.

Fusilli


How to make it

Boil up enough water to fill a saucepan and cover the tomatoes. Put water in pan, bring to a fierce boil, then turn off the heat. Stab a small cross in the base of the tomatoes. When done, plunge them all in the water until the skin begins to peel away from the cross, or anywhere else, then remove and skin. Halve them and scoop out the seeds, then puree them all

Get a big pan, a thick bottomed metal one like what they use in restaurants. Teflon is for the space shuttle.
Put in oil, to your own personal tolerance, but not so little as to burn the veg:-
Chop the onion and fennel, not too chunky, not fine. Don't use the green stalky bits, too tough, but do save the hairy bits for later

Gently fry the onion with the pepper and fennel until both are almost soft, then add the garlic. Fry until soft

Dice the chorizo and fry until the colour and fat bleeds into the veg, about 15 minutes is usually enough

Add the paprika, stir and fry for another 5 mins

Add the tomatoes, bring to a vigourous simmer, then turn down the heat. If you like the sauce thick, leave the lid off

Boil up the pasta without salt or olive oil or anything. Don't dick about with it and leave it slightly undercooked if you are going to incorporate it into the sauce

Finally, rip the basil leaves and add as much as you can bear, and throw in the chopped hairy bits

Drink with wine! Just drink wine, it's incredibly good for you.