I fought the law.....

Drove to the desert today, drove a 370 mile round trip that took in Roslyn and PotHoles reservoir (pics in the can, go see Big Chief Running Mouth's blog for the new fangled digital goblinry) as we drove east of Seattle

The change of scenery from huge trees and greenery to dry scrubland took less than 20 miles, and apart from some stunning lake views it was a bit dull. It's humbling to see how a meagre 4 hours straight driving made a very minor dent inland, and how massive this country is.

Oh yeah, the law thing. Well, Vlad was making a few road movies with his camera so I wanted to get to the bridge bit before it got too dark, and put my foot down somewhat. The Mustang became unstable at 100 mph, almost leaping off the road in fear and providing a sickening body roll that had me sea sick. So, I'm thinking, best keep it to 85-ish. Not much farther on down the road, I came across yet another ex-colonial lumbering along in the middle lane overtaking no-one, and angrily punched the accelerator (1-one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3-one thousrrrrrrRRRRR!) and eventually was granted some power by the all controlling gearbox and whizzed across and around the drooling simpleton. It was downhill a bit, and last time I checked, I'd got up to 85mph, and straight past a state trooper. I think the road movie recorded the dormant vehicle light up and start to roll off the ramp. I expected a mild spanking and a small finelet, the speed limit was 70, but once pulled over, the officer claimed 'my laser never lies Sir!' and a huge and potentially incarcerating 98mph! Having known what that speed feels like and it's stomach churning effects, I thought that had to be wrong, so, I quietly shat myself, but calmly apologised and handed over my UK driving licence, just the card bit. He was at the passenger side, and Saruman laid down some excellent soothing banter as the very young officer tried to rally some anger towards me. He went to his car for a potentially life ruining 2 minutes that had me wondering if they had WiFi in jail cells these days, so I could continue the project. He returned from checking me out, then sent me on my way with a horror story about what might have become of us had we hit an elk. At 98mph. I can only assume it would have been too much hassle to properly book someone with a UK driving licence, I was sufficiently repentant or WormTongue's verbal gossamer had him all weak at the knees. Maybe it was our protestations of 'How DARE you! We're British don't you know, you miserable traitorous Roundhead!'

So right, if the big fella there throws the ball to yer man down there, and he hasn't completed a sack in the 3rd down....uhh, ahhhmmm. Huh?

I agree! The game as a contest SUCKED! The game as a sport is just unbearable. They made 4 x 15 minutes last 3 HOURS! I prefer rugby in a huge way, and the constant stops by the refs, 7 of them, the teams endless interruptions with timeouts and running in to touch with the 'ball' were relieved only by an army of cheerleaders

I'd love to see what a team of rugby players could do to these guys. They train to run around a field for most of their 80 minutes, but the longest play made in this match was about 7 seconds. Then it's time for a group huddle, the ref to swap the ball 7 or 8 times, the team to be entirely replaced during offensive\defensive changes, the cheerleaders to jiggle a little more, a quick mission to retrieve a 'WHAT! 6 BUCKS! Does it produce some kind of dizzying high?' hotdog so they can get their breath back.

And there was this bogling crow creature humiliating himself in between the long dark teatimes of the game

I know now how Americans feel about cricket, so touché

The Fog

Our route, red dot is home. 377 miles

A day off.

On a weekend.

I wasn't getting up in the morning though, had a nice long sleep.


So, we decided to drive to Bremerton and have a look around, and it's not very interesting, so on we went to Lake Crescent at the top of the map.

There are a few legends for this deep deep lake. But I thought it was stunning, driving around it reminded me of a Slovenian postcard, New Zealand (postcard again, I don't get aound much) and Loch Lomond, in bits (bin there.)

We decided that rather than 'Turn Back! Turn Back! My wife! My little children!', despite all the abandoned cars and lack of people and towns and abundance of dark, hairy untouched forests, we could make it to the beach, just, to witness a Pacific sunset.

Then, clouds. The sun vanished and left us under a blanket of grey and alone on a loooong straight road. I was able to drive with my knees for a full seven miles.

The little man in the photo spotted Rialto beach on our way to La Push that he'd seen in a travel blog, and had spooky stone stacks and beautiful sunsets. But when we got there...

The beach is lucky enough to have a river flowing nearby, which means lot's of different coloured shiny pebbles. Edward SausageHands felt right at home, and I knew how he felt to find his beach. Mine is White Park Bay in Northern Ireland (top picture, in link)

Bream?

You definitely had to be there

Hooters

Wow, a Friday evening on the lash to give my bleary eyes and chair ridden arse and it's many sores some air.

This place does the most delicious chicken wings, maybe a close second to Nando's. Trust me, you don't want to go just for the service, ahem, they are tough salesfolk and they harass you! It's supposed to be the other way round. Big smiles, loud voices and they reaaaally put out for tips, you get body parts thrust at you while you're trying to chow on your food. And when you're done, they try and flog you nasty old t-shirts. Every 10 minutes they humiliate a customer who unwisely thought announcing their birthday will get them a free drink and maybe a shag. So conversation is impossible.

Maybe my social intolerance is caused by enforced toil on Milo Minderbinder's evil hamster wheel for 11 straight days!

We were going to cruise for chicks in the Mustang and our outragoeus British accents, but neither of us wanted to remain sober. Instead, we chugged martini's in Daniels and smoked one of their corrugated cardboard sticks they claim to be cigars. NEVER again! Quit hassling the Cubans and let them sell you some real stogies!

Compared to Crowley's martini's, they were a bit watery, and the lemon twist was all straight. This is not a matter of design, you have to twist it to rupture the little cells that hold in the lemon oil in the zest, otherwise you get no pleasant lemoniness.

Our extremely and not over the top polite waitress Sarah from Wisconsin was chatting to us about her trip to Europe, on her own and starting in Rome. We shared our experiences and warned her of the perils of travelling alone in a steamy latin country, especially one of the most insane cities in Europe. Hopefully she'll send us some pictures while we are here next month which we'll post.

Wine Review #7

Camaraderie Cellars
Cabernet Sauvignon 2001 14.4%
Columbia Valley
Washington State


Smell
Cold corporate marble lined hallways and chilli cinnamon

Taste
Like some creosote fingered baker licking redcurrant jam off his fingers. The baker's name is Dave, you feminists!

Whippets factor
8/10, an alcoholic party in your nasal passages

Wood preserver
If injection treated, 7/10

Wine Review #6

Hogue
Columbia Valley 2002
Cabernet Sauvignon 13.9%

The official runner for cornershop piss so far. Not because it's bad but because it's our first el-cheapo. Most wines so far have been above $20, this is $6

Smell
Old men sauna steam and prunes

Taste
Like is been buried and the worms have been at it a bit

Whippets factor
6/10, although reasonably alcoholic, the fumes simply can't be bothered

Suitability as a gulping every hour of every day wine
8/10

Red mist

Too much caffeine makes me VERY aggressive

Watch this space

Wine Review #5

Mason Cellars
Napa Valley 2003
Sauvignon Blanc 13%

Easy single grape, must be COLD! The best tasting US white so far


Smell
Pebbles and fish. Maybe that was just my hand

Taste
Lemon grass juice strained through a mile of flint bedrock

Whippets factor
3/10, but in a good way. The smell\taste takes it's sweet time to experience

Smugness because you're reading about it instead of drinking it
Ear to ear

Wine Review #4

Owen Roe
Abbot's Table 2004 14.6%

44% Cabernet Sauvignon
13.6% Syrah
13% Merlot
9% Cabernet Franc
8% Zinfandel
4.5% Grenache
3.4% Malbec
3% Pinot Noir
1.5% Counoise

!!!

Like many a colonised country, this wine is the bastard mongrel bitch mother whore daddy sister of many gang raping viking grapes. Lord knows how such a mix up was arrived at, I'm thinking a bottom of the vat tourist sell off here, so I'm very suspicious.

Smell

• Dusty old bookshelves in a 16th century library
• Vanilla impregnated slippers
• BOOOZE!

Taste

• 9 volt battery terminals, with light blueberry and mulled orange peel

Whippets factor

• 7/10, sinus scorching booze clouds

Winey giggles

• 6 minutes after first swig

A delicious light gulping wine I would absolutely drink again, once my liver is a little less inflamed

Slavery

While Evil-Eye plays, he makes me stay in and work! On a Saturday no less.

I have to, all the time loafing around here without my UK lab in my first two weeks must be caught up. I'm sure my mitherings about what I'm working on will be very boring, so I'll post when I have been able to leave the flat to do stuff.

I was able to chat to my little brother who has recently become a father, but not my father who had recently become a grandad.










Looking forward to some new Bainbridge wine

Wine Review #3

Hi

Been working loooong hours, I have managed to drink more wine in the few free hours I do have

Vashon Winery Semillon
10317 SW 156th Street
Vashon, Washington 98070
206.567.0055
vashonwinery@yahoo.com

Semiilon

I drank it two evenings ago with some wild sockeye, it was very tasty


Beer and Big Train this evening

'Allo John

Shelob and I are making so much cold cash locked away in the apartment that we decided to buy us a new car each

I was going to get a Corvette, but this is much more modest




















The Fop of course had to be different

The Late Rainier

My camera is an idiot, even for a machine. It has great difficulty in distingushing between small












and faaa-aar away


, so I almost always have to manually focus.

As well as being a thickie, it uses chemical film which means I have to get Old Bob from round the back of the shiny digital processing shop to 'as a go with 'er Sir, them'll be ready in 6 months'

They are a bit more accepting here of the old ways, and agreed reluctantly to transfer my plates to optical media.

Here are a few interweb friendly reproductions

Fay Bainbridge National Park, Bainbridge Island



Seattle, dusk



Seattle fair





Rainier National Park

Wine reviews #2, 45 minutes later

Now then, down to drinking

It's as deep burgundy as fresh arterial blood, and the first whiff out of the glass has my fangs coming down dripping with drool. Its general smelliness is of soft buttery tones, with a sweet plum note and a hint of sharpness.

It is also sensibly alcoholic, so the smells don't march up your nostrils and sodomise your brain like the vicious barbarian hordes of the 14%+ Huns.

I like to create little alcoholic whippets in my sinuses with most wines, just to grease the cockpit a little before the main whack of the rest of the bottle. Apart from creating a dizzying high, it also helps with trying to fathom the taste. Which is where this gets difficult.

Every aspect of the experience of drinking this is extremely good, apart from getting to the end of the bottle and ESPECIALLY having to share it with the Reaper.
So get your own!

Bribes will be accepted to bring some home, it's $35 per bottle plus, you owe me one!

Wine reviews #2

Vashon Winery Cabernet Sauvignon 2000 12.5%
10317 SW 156th Street
Vashon, Washington 98070

206.567.0055
vashonwinery@yahoo.com

Cabernet Sauvignon


This 'uns a bit old. I'd better leave it open a bit

Full tilt

Got my lab at last, got a bit lost in work for two days...

I did find time to go out with some reinforcements from the UK and Belgium and indulge in pizza and cigars while me and Too Much Coffee Man watched them keel over with jet lag, hurr hurr.

The cigar was naaaasty. Let Castro sell his stogies you miserable vagrants!

Wine reviews #1

We've found a wine shop, and have asked the feller there to find us a bottle or 6 based on what we bought already and what we like.

So, to our first wine.

Camaraderie Cellars Grâce 2002 14.2%
Columbia Valley
Washington State

Cabernet Sauvignon
Merlot
Cabernet Franc
Malbec

A 'Bordeaux' style wine, we should not have opened this until 2009. It's very tannic and monstrously alcoholic, so even smelling it puts the ethers up you. The finish promises what it might be like with a few more years on it, it was too aggressive for me to whip out a few ludicrous adjectives on it's taste

Move aside, we're British you know....

Aggh, everything hurts!

A rigorous gym programme, then a huge hike up Rainier have done me in, I'm walking like a cowboy.

Beautiful weather and a leisurely cruise through verdant loveliness made the arrival at Sunrise visitors centre all the sweeter

I may have miscalculated what counts for a respectful distance to the car in front. It looked to be at least three times that of the UK, but it must be more as I found 3 US drivers pulling over to let me pass when I hadn't consciously signalled them to.

I've never been as high up as this with my feet on the ground and I found getting out of the car a bit of a strain at first, perhaps it was the wine

A lousy hot dog and some caffeine, and one 500ml bottle of water and we were set. It took an age to get up the steps on the first 400 yards, but once through the altitude barrier, I wanted to get as high as possible. We wandered through stunning meadows
the like of which I haven't seen since I was in northern Morocco, then upwards to more aggressive rocky terrain to find a dome shaped seat where we reclined to take in the upper half of Rainier and its shining glaciers



Once home, we had more Martini's and watched Resident Evil